Is it ridiculous to do an end of summer review on October 22? Probably, but for this summer it seems perfectly normal. I have always felt that each summer of our lives defines itself with its own special memory. It was the summer we played softball every night, or the summer we went to Yellowstone, or the summer Freddy fell down the well and we had to fish him out.
This summer is unequivocally and unarguably the summer of Zoey. It started with her, ended with her, and probably a day did not pass without her in our thoughts. This was her first summer and her existence is all that mattered. Subsequent summers will be the summer Zoey ------- whatevered, but this summer was the summer of Zoey.
As to the rest of the summer was it pass or fail?? Really hard to judge.
I make a list every Spring that includes must do’s, should do’s and nice to do’s. By Labor day, I usually have completed everything on the list and can relax until the Fall/Winter list is completed. This year’s list had four big must do’s. Finish the Hall entrance upstairs and down, reorganize the garage, rebuild the back porch steps and paint the front porch. Since we have only one car in a two car garage, it seemed silly not to redo the second stall for better storage. Also, if Sweet Z was spending time here, let’s move the horrible smelling stains and finishes outdoors. Completed this is June and it has been a great help.
As to the hall. Here is the wonderful fun. If you look around your house at your furniture, you will realize that almost everything is a box. Sure it is dressed up to look pretty and it has cute little attributes, but basically it is a box. It is even called case work. (fancy name for a ---box) Almost everything I have built in the last few years has been a box. The hall was not a box. It was all new and fresh and fun. It also took forever. There were a zillion small little cuts that were all interdependent and ( given our home) odd. But, as of October 22, it is done and I must say it looks, very nice. Except for the parts not done yet, but we are not going to mention any of them.
Everything else on my to do list, will head next years to do list. And here is the funny thing. As hard as it is to believe, I did not put a check mark next to every single thing on my list, and the sun still came up, the squirrels are still storing nuts and the cat has not cared in the least. Imagine, it really didn’t matter.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Some moments are larger than words. If we lead a blessed life we may experience a handful of these moments in our entire lifetime. The birth of our children, the day we realize we married our best friend, the day God touches your life.
I had two such moments in the space of four days.
On Saturday, 25 people gathered in God’s greatest Cathedral to Bless a child. For just a few moments, all stood in the presence of the Creator and for once, the joining of hands really felt like the joining of spirits. While not “traditional” in most senses, I could not help but think of two things – “whenever two or more of you are gathered in my name.” and St. Francis’s Canticle of the Sun. Somewhere in that circle of joined hands, perhaps between Nick and Kate, God inserted himself and blessed not only the Sweet Z of his creation, but everyone in that “joining” And in his presence, all were validated, all were valued.
The second moment was much simpler, much more personal. Tuesday morning, Kate arrived with a sleeping Z in her carrier. The two Ks disappeared into the kitchen to arrange something, and I was left in the hall with sleeping Sunshine. Only it was easy to predict that when she woke up in a strange place without the comfort of mommy, Sunshine, might quickly turn to Rainstorm. I was plotting all sorts of reassuring noises, when one eye, then the other fluttered open. There was a moment of’” Where the heck am I???” and then she saw me --- and smiled. A truly happy to see you, I missed you smile. Within that moment was the truly sacred that is so often talked about and rarely recognized. There are simply no words for the healing, the valuing, the “you are worth something” contained in that simple act.
“OK kid – you get the pony, the car, the live in doll house, the Safari to Africa, the Harvard Education.”
I had two such moments in the space of four days.
On Saturday, 25 people gathered in God’s greatest Cathedral to Bless a child. For just a few moments, all stood in the presence of the Creator and for once, the joining of hands really felt like the joining of spirits. While not “traditional” in most senses, I could not help but think of two things – “whenever two or more of you are gathered in my name.” and St. Francis’s Canticle of the Sun. Somewhere in that circle of joined hands, perhaps between Nick and Kate, God inserted himself and blessed not only the Sweet Z of his creation, but everyone in that “joining” And in his presence, all were validated, all were valued.
The second moment was much simpler, much more personal. Tuesday morning, Kate arrived with a sleeping Z in her carrier. The two Ks disappeared into the kitchen to arrange something, and I was left in the hall with sleeping Sunshine. Only it was easy to predict that when she woke up in a strange place without the comfort of mommy, Sunshine, might quickly turn to Rainstorm. I was plotting all sorts of reassuring noises, when one eye, then the other fluttered open. There was a moment of’” Where the heck am I???” and then she saw me --- and smiled. A truly happy to see you, I missed you smile. Within that moment was the truly sacred that is so often talked about and rarely recognized. There are simply no words for the healing, the valuing, the “you are worth something” contained in that simple act.
“OK kid – you get the pony, the car, the live in doll house, the Safari to Africa, the Harvard Education.”
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
End Times ???
The end of time is supposedly marked by the great expansion of knowledge, earthly disasters and the arrival of false prophets. In addition, a world religion must arise.
Well, when the pony express was quickly replaced by the telegraph and that fell to the transcontinental railroad, pulpits were filled with preachers certain the end was, “just around the corner.” Each advance since, has yielded similar warnings.
Now comes the internet and instant information. Since nothing in the prophecies mentions accurate information being required, this may be it. In truth, I never took it too seriously. Sure there are enough earthly disasters to go around, and we achieved a world religion, the worship of money, long ago, but in general I wasn’t too concerned.
Then on Sunday, there was Glen Beck’s rally. At first it was just a good old political movement with a mean streak, but suddenly, God was invoked. That is always, and I emphasis with big bold black letters always, bad. ( see Oliver Cromwell, Puritans, Crusaders, Al Quida, etc.)
The instant I heard Beck plead to take back the country for God, I thought of false prophets arising. Rush, Ann Coulter, Glen Beck, Fox News – all with the power of the pulpit.
So the next question is , “How do I know they are wrong and I’m right?” “How do I know the Holy Spirit is at work here, and not there?”
Well, here is what I have learned in the last four years.
If it is the Holy Spirit at work it:
1. Includes people, welcomes people, raises people up.
2. Heals people, never diminishes or destroys them.
3. Is about peace and acceptance, never rejection, never “them against us”
4. 1, 2 and 3 are present, even when dealing with horrible behavior or things you are completely and morally opposed to. That’s why the prophet business is not for the weak hearted.
In short, if the “Prophet” does not bring together, does not heal, does not speak with great love, look out. I would respectfully add one more indicator. If someone’s bank account increases in direct proportion to how angry and scared he can keep his audience, he might not be speaking directly from God.
Well, when the pony express was quickly replaced by the telegraph and that fell to the transcontinental railroad, pulpits were filled with preachers certain the end was, “just around the corner.” Each advance since, has yielded similar warnings.
Now comes the internet and instant information. Since nothing in the prophecies mentions accurate information being required, this may be it. In truth, I never took it too seriously. Sure there are enough earthly disasters to go around, and we achieved a world religion, the worship of money, long ago, but in general I wasn’t too concerned.
Then on Sunday, there was Glen Beck’s rally. At first it was just a good old political movement with a mean streak, but suddenly, God was invoked. That is always, and I emphasis with big bold black letters always, bad. ( see Oliver Cromwell, Puritans, Crusaders, Al Quida, etc.)
The instant I heard Beck plead to take back the country for God, I thought of false prophets arising. Rush, Ann Coulter, Glen Beck, Fox News – all with the power of the pulpit.
So the next question is , “How do I know they are wrong and I’m right?” “How do I know the Holy Spirit is at work here, and not there?”
Well, here is what I have learned in the last four years.
If it is the Holy Spirit at work it:
1. Includes people, welcomes people, raises people up.
2. Heals people, never diminishes or destroys them.
3. Is about peace and acceptance, never rejection, never “them against us”
4. 1, 2 and 3 are present, even when dealing with horrible behavior or things you are completely and morally opposed to. That’s why the prophet business is not for the weak hearted.
In short, if the “Prophet” does not bring together, does not heal, does not speak with great love, look out. I would respectfully add one more indicator. If someone’s bank account increases in direct proportion to how angry and scared he can keep his audience, he might not be speaking directly from God.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Weekend Fun
Probably it’s the weather. As soon as the humidity and temperatures dropped back into humane levels, I got a burst of energy and felt like doing something besides sleeping and eating. I had begun to wonder if old age had finally caught up to me.
Anyway, heat or no heat, yesterday was busy. We started by packing lunches at trinity Memorial Church, then shadowed a birthday party at the zoo. This was a delightful group of four or five year olds that were excited to see the fox, interested in the snake, curious about the bird and happy with the rabbit. If you notice a steady decline in the level of excitement, good, I was accurate. Seems no matter what is going on, four and five year olds have about 13: 45 minutes of attention in them. Beyond that, we could have had a working dragon and it wasn’t going to work.
We got back home, hung out in the air-conditioned room upstairs until 5, then headed back to the zoo for Ice Cream Safari. Great fun. A really large crowd, enough help to not be run frantic, support showing up with ice cream at the right time and just a generally well run event.
Today, after Mass we started painting the Hall.
For those unaware, we have been redoing our entry hall for , well a really long time. Several years ago, I started redoing the door trim. I built a really fancy head piece for each of the three doors and redid the upright pieces with a neat inlay of carved wood. That used up all my skill for two years. Then we designated this summer as the summer we would finally finish the hall and rebuild the outside back stairs.
We started by installing a ceiling. The old one was determined to become part of the floor at any moment. By working really carefully, we kept the old ceiling up, and secured it with the new one. Then all the trim under the stairway, including the closet door was removed and some put back. (The closet door and the side trim is waiting for wallpaper to be applied) I rebuilt the upper Newell post and wrapped it in oak. Finally, phase one required 11 oak treads, 12 risers, four side pieces to be cut and finished and ready for installation and the walls prepared for painting,.
Then the fatal, hated, although absolutely correct words ---
“ While we’re at it, we should paint the ceiling over the stairs.”
I painted this ceiling twenty years ago, and I am certain the plan was for it to last at least 60 years., because I clearly remember saying, “I am not painting that again until I am 105!!”
I do not mind painting walls, the paint can only splatter on the floor in front of me, which it will do. Ceilings open up whole new dimensions of splatter. It can go behind me, on me, over me and somehow transmute itself into blob like spectacles in the middle of the room. You scoff, but I have witnessed each and every possibility, while holding a wet paintbrush and sporting a stupid expression.
Anyway, we covered, stapled, masked everything in sight, and this morning primed the walls and painted the ceiling. We’ll be done cleaning up the splatters Tuesday.
Probably it’s the weather. As soon as the humidity and temperatures dropped back into humane levels, I got a burst of energy and felt like doing something besides sleeping and eating. I had begun to wonder if old age had finally caught up to me.
Anyway, heat or no heat, yesterday was busy. We started by packing lunches at trinity Memorial Church, then shadowed a birthday party at the zoo. This was a delightful group of four or five year olds that were excited to see the fox, interested in the snake, curious about the bird and happy with the rabbit. If you notice a steady decline in the level of excitement, good, I was accurate. Seems no matter what is going on, four and five year olds have about 13: 45 minutes of attention in them. Beyond that, we could have had a working dragon and it wasn’t going to work.
We got back home, hung out in the air-conditioned room upstairs until 5, then headed back to the zoo for Ice Cream Safari. Great fun. A really large crowd, enough help to not be run frantic, support showing up with ice cream at the right time and just a generally well run event.
Today, after Mass we started painting the Hall.
For those unaware, we have been redoing our entry hall for , well a really long time. Several years ago, I started redoing the door trim. I built a really fancy head piece for each of the three doors and redid the upright pieces with a neat inlay of carved wood. That used up all my skill for two years. Then we designated this summer as the summer we would finally finish the hall and rebuild the outside back stairs.
We started by installing a ceiling. The old one was determined to become part of the floor at any moment. By working really carefully, we kept the old ceiling up, and secured it with the new one. Then all the trim under the stairway, including the closet door was removed and some put back. (The closet door and the side trim is waiting for wallpaper to be applied) I rebuilt the upper Newell post and wrapped it in oak. Finally, phase one required 11 oak treads, 12 risers, four side pieces to be cut and finished and ready for installation and the walls prepared for painting,.
Then the fatal, hated, although absolutely correct words ---
“ While we’re at it, we should paint the ceiling over the stairs.”
I painted this ceiling twenty years ago, and I am certain the plan was for it to last at least 60 years., because I clearly remember saying, “I am not painting that again until I am 105!!”
I do not mind painting walls, the paint can only splatter on the floor in front of me, which it will do. Ceilings open up whole new dimensions of splatter. It can go behind me, on me, over me and somehow transmute itself into blob like spectacles in the middle of the room. You scoff, but I have witnessed each and every possibility, while holding a wet paintbrush and sporting a stupid expression.
Anyway, we covered, stapled, masked everything in sight, and this morning primed the walls and painted the ceiling. We’ll be done cleaning up the splatters Tuesday.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Dentists
A few weeks ago, a filling fell out of my head. Not unusual. Simple wear and tear. Anyway, I made an appointment and Tuesday was the day. I arrived at 8:10, was stuck with Novocain at 8:12, shot the breeze with Dr. Bain until I started to slur words and had developed a serious lip leak. A few whirrs, a few twirls and I was out the door by 8:30 and eating breakfast by 9:30. No fuss, no muss, no pain.
WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!
My first experience with a dentist was in a Dr’s office who shall remain nameless. ( because I forgot his name and have not been able to resurrect it not matter how hard I try) His office was right across the street from the old Johnson City High School and I still wince when I drive by. In his defense, he was about 65 when I first went there at the age of seven or eight, so he probably started his practice around 1914. He apparently never replaced any of his equipment. He used a treadle drill, that he pumped furiously with one foot, occasionally switching to the other foot when he moved to get a better angle on the “problem” --ME! It is not the pain I remember. Whether what he did was not terribly painful, or he was really good at what he did I don’t know. I have no horrible memories of Novocain shots or gas or anything. What I remember was the smell of burning tooth. Yuck. Double yuck when you realize the smell is coming from your tooth. Once or twice he hit a spot that made blood shoot up into my line of vision. That was a highlight of my visits.
A few years later we graduated to another dentist who again I don’t remember. ( I’m sensing a pattern here) All I remember about him was sitting in his office, much improved over the first dentist’s, and hearing him tell my Dad that since I had buck teeth I was generating 18 gazillion tons of pressure on my teeth and if I did not get braces, they would all fall out by the time I was thirty. “ Do you want that to happen to him??”
My Dad inquired into the price and when he heard it he allowed as how if he paid that much for braces, I wouldn’t need them because I wouldn’t have anything to eat. End of braces. (Dad always felt guilty about that, which is another reason I don’t have fond memories of this dentist.} Anyway, I decided if they were falling out by thirty, to heck with it. Unless there was a gigantic hole, I never paid much attention to my teeth until a remarkable incident when we were living in Sydney, New York. I was chewing on a Mary Jane, alias “filling remover” and not surprisingly, it removed my filling. This one hurt, so I went to a local dentist who was pretty upset with me about not taking better care of my teeth. I explained they were all falling out pretty soon anyway because of the gazillion pounds of pressure and he quite literally hit the roof. Seems that was never the case and he explained quite clearly that if I took care of them, there was no sane reason I would not die at the age of 105 with all my teeth.
From that day forward I have never had a new cavity. Don’t really need any new ones given all the old ones I had. Periodically, a filling shoots out, or a tooth breaks, but so far it has been easily and painlessly fixable. So the next time you hear about the good old days, I vote that where Dentistry comes in, I’ll take these old days anytime.
A few weeks ago, a filling fell out of my head. Not unusual. Simple wear and tear. Anyway, I made an appointment and Tuesday was the day. I arrived at 8:10, was stuck with Novocain at 8:12, shot the breeze with Dr. Bain until I started to slur words and had developed a serious lip leak. A few whirrs, a few twirls and I was out the door by 8:30 and eating breakfast by 9:30. No fuss, no muss, no pain.
WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!
My first experience with a dentist was in a Dr’s office who shall remain nameless. ( because I forgot his name and have not been able to resurrect it not matter how hard I try) His office was right across the street from the old Johnson City High School and I still wince when I drive by. In his defense, he was about 65 when I first went there at the age of seven or eight, so he probably started his practice around 1914. He apparently never replaced any of his equipment. He used a treadle drill, that he pumped furiously with one foot, occasionally switching to the other foot when he moved to get a better angle on the “problem” --ME! It is not the pain I remember. Whether what he did was not terribly painful, or he was really good at what he did I don’t know. I have no horrible memories of Novocain shots or gas or anything. What I remember was the smell of burning tooth. Yuck. Double yuck when you realize the smell is coming from your tooth. Once or twice he hit a spot that made blood shoot up into my line of vision. That was a highlight of my visits.
A few years later we graduated to another dentist who again I don’t remember. ( I’m sensing a pattern here) All I remember about him was sitting in his office, much improved over the first dentist’s, and hearing him tell my Dad that since I had buck teeth I was generating 18 gazillion tons of pressure on my teeth and if I did not get braces, they would all fall out by the time I was thirty. “ Do you want that to happen to him??”
My Dad inquired into the price and when he heard it he allowed as how if he paid that much for braces, I wouldn’t need them because I wouldn’t have anything to eat. End of braces. (Dad always felt guilty about that, which is another reason I don’t have fond memories of this dentist.} Anyway, I decided if they were falling out by thirty, to heck with it. Unless there was a gigantic hole, I never paid much attention to my teeth until a remarkable incident when we were living in Sydney, New York. I was chewing on a Mary Jane, alias “filling remover” and not surprisingly, it removed my filling. This one hurt, so I went to a local dentist who was pretty upset with me about not taking better care of my teeth. I explained they were all falling out pretty soon anyway because of the gazillion pounds of pressure and he quite literally hit the roof. Seems that was never the case and he explained quite clearly that if I took care of them, there was no sane reason I would not die at the age of 105 with all my teeth.
From that day forward I have never had a new cavity. Don’t really need any new ones given all the old ones I had. Periodically, a filling shoots out, or a tooth breaks, but so far it has been easily and painlessly fixable. So the next time you hear about the good old days, I vote that where Dentistry comes in, I’ll take these old days anytime.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
it doesn’t always seem fair that other people are so much better at writing things than i am. but what is below is just perfect and what could i add?
LOVE
Wednesday, July 14
Kateri Tekakwitha,
Mohawk Holy Woman
Question of the Day:
Why does God love us?
God cares, for some wonderful reason, despite all of our smallness and silliness. Divine love does not depend on our doing nice or right things. Divine love is not determined by the worthiness of the object of love but by the Subject, who is always and only Love. God does not love us if we change, as we almost all think; but God loves us so that we can change.
No matter what we do, God, in great love and humility, says, “That’s what I work with. That’s all I work with!” It’s the mustard seed with which God does great things. Our life experiences, “good and bad alike,” are invited to the great wedding feast (Matthew 22:10). They are the raw material that God uses to prepare the banquet.
~Richard Rohr
June 2010
LOVE
Wednesday, July 14
Kateri Tekakwitha,
Mohawk Holy Woman
Question of the Day:
Why does God love us?
God cares, for some wonderful reason, despite all of our smallness and silliness. Divine love does not depend on our doing nice or right things. Divine love is not determined by the worthiness of the object of love but by the Subject, who is always and only Love. God does not love us if we change, as we almost all think; but God loves us so that we can change.
No matter what we do, God, in great love and humility, says, “That’s what I work with. That’s all I work with!” It’s the mustard seed with which God does great things. Our life experiences, “good and bad alike,” are invited to the great wedding feast (Matthew 22:10). They are the raw material that God uses to prepare the banquet.
~Richard Rohr
June 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
JOY and happiness
We often mistake happiness for joy and joy for happiness. They are no more related than weather and climate. Certainly there is a connection and some dependence on each other, but not to the point of interchangeability.
From birth we are taught to seek happiness. “Do what makes you happy!” “Go for it!” (it being somewhat elusive!) We pursue happiness in purchased form, in escape form, in thrill form, in unimaginable forms. And we find it. Short term.
I remember as a child wanting a radio in the worst way. I am just old enough to have experienced a time when radio was fun. We listened to story after story. Space Cadets, Johnnie Dollar, Our Miss Brooks, Fiber McGee and Molly, or The Great Gildersleeve. Who could forget lying in bed in the dark listening to Gangbusters, or Inner Sanctum or Suspense? But, we had only one radio and it was in the other room, so I never had control of what was listened to, and worst of all, when the powers that be determined it went off for the night, silence. I wanted my own. So one Christmas morning, I woke up and was presented with my very own radio. A clock radio no less. That radio and I enjoyed many great years together, even after it developed a nasty habit of shocking you whenever you tried to change the alarm setting. I found I would rather wake up at 6 AM on Sunday than get shocked blind Saturday night. That radio made me happy. It did not bring me joy.
Later in life I decided I wanted a telescope. I saved my money until I had the princely sum of $34.98 and I mailed a money order to Edmonds Scientific Corporation, and several weeks later my beautiful 3 inch reflecting telescope arrived. Despite the fact it no longer reflects anything, I still have it because it seems disloyal to throw it away. Plus I still want my $34. 98 worth. That telescope made me happy. It did not bring me joy.
I could go on. We bought an umbrella for the pool deck when the kids were little. I have no idea why, but I loved the bright colors. Looking at it made me happy, but guess what? It did not bring me joy.
I know we say, “You can’t buy happiness.” Poppycock. Money can buy you lots of happiness. It will be short term, it will not last and it will not be joy- but it will be happy.
Joy, on the other hand, is inside out. The feelings of Joy come from satisfaction, from peace, from love. When I look at Kay rocking Z, I am filled with pure Joy. To see someone else so happy and so devoted is special. When I rock Z, I feel the same Joy I felt when I rocked Jeremy and Nick and later Lydia. Nothing can steal that joy from me. And no money could buy it.
When I walk out on a perfect 63 degree, bright blue morning, I feel Joy. That is a gift from God and must be appreciated. I am astounded when I am passed by joggers plugged in to I Pods, and missing the moment that never comes again. And yet how many years did I walk around with a mental I Pod blocking out the special moments?
Good food brings happiness, but sharing it with good friends brings Joy. I still remember a dinner at the Treadway Inn with Nick, Kate, Jeremy, Denise and the two of us. It was one of the most joyous moments of life.
How many great meals did we share in Baltimore? And how much pure Joy has come in the Adirondacks with all of the friends from college?
In the end, I think Joy comes from being at peace with yourself. It is no secret that I spent many years convinced I was not good enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not skilled enough. Then I learned that I was good enough. That not only was I good enough, God actually liked me, thought I was just the way I was supposed to be. With that one cosmic hug, came a great inner peace that has allowed me to see and enjoy the world around me. All the anxiety and fear and worry, has been replaced with peace and Joy.
We often mistake happiness for joy and joy for happiness. They are no more related than weather and climate. Certainly there is a connection and some dependence on each other, but not to the point of interchangeability.
From birth we are taught to seek happiness. “Do what makes you happy!” “Go for it!” (it being somewhat elusive!) We pursue happiness in purchased form, in escape form, in thrill form, in unimaginable forms. And we find it. Short term.
I remember as a child wanting a radio in the worst way. I am just old enough to have experienced a time when radio was fun. We listened to story after story. Space Cadets, Johnnie Dollar, Our Miss Brooks, Fiber McGee and Molly, or The Great Gildersleeve. Who could forget lying in bed in the dark listening to Gangbusters, or Inner Sanctum or Suspense? But, we had only one radio and it was in the other room, so I never had control of what was listened to, and worst of all, when the powers that be determined it went off for the night, silence. I wanted my own. So one Christmas morning, I woke up and was presented with my very own radio. A clock radio no less. That radio and I enjoyed many great years together, even after it developed a nasty habit of shocking you whenever you tried to change the alarm setting. I found I would rather wake up at 6 AM on Sunday than get shocked blind Saturday night. That radio made me happy. It did not bring me joy.
Later in life I decided I wanted a telescope. I saved my money until I had the princely sum of $34.98 and I mailed a money order to Edmonds Scientific Corporation, and several weeks later my beautiful 3 inch reflecting telescope arrived. Despite the fact it no longer reflects anything, I still have it because it seems disloyal to throw it away. Plus I still want my $34. 98 worth. That telescope made me happy. It did not bring me joy.
I could go on. We bought an umbrella for the pool deck when the kids were little. I have no idea why, but I loved the bright colors. Looking at it made me happy, but guess what? It did not bring me joy.
I know we say, “You can’t buy happiness.” Poppycock. Money can buy you lots of happiness. It will be short term, it will not last and it will not be joy- but it will be happy.
Joy, on the other hand, is inside out. The feelings of Joy come from satisfaction, from peace, from love. When I look at Kay rocking Z, I am filled with pure Joy. To see someone else so happy and so devoted is special. When I rock Z, I feel the same Joy I felt when I rocked Jeremy and Nick and later Lydia. Nothing can steal that joy from me. And no money could buy it.
When I walk out on a perfect 63 degree, bright blue morning, I feel Joy. That is a gift from God and must be appreciated. I am astounded when I am passed by joggers plugged in to I Pods, and missing the moment that never comes again. And yet how many years did I walk around with a mental I Pod blocking out the special moments?
Good food brings happiness, but sharing it with good friends brings Joy. I still remember a dinner at the Treadway Inn with Nick, Kate, Jeremy, Denise and the two of us. It was one of the most joyous moments of life.
How many great meals did we share in Baltimore? And how much pure Joy has come in the Adirondacks with all of the friends from college?
In the end, I think Joy comes from being at peace with yourself. It is no secret that I spent many years convinced I was not good enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not skilled enough. Then I learned that I was good enough. That not only was I good enough, God actually liked me, thought I was just the way I was supposed to be. With that one cosmic hug, came a great inner peace that has allowed me to see and enjoy the world around me. All the anxiety and fear and worry, has been replaced with peace and Joy.
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