Unfinished Business
Last Lent, I took wise advise and spent the 40+ days trying to understand a virtue of choice. I settled on Forgiveness because I was most in need of that. A wonderful journey I highly recommend for anyone. The first part, why should we forgive was actually very easy. Every Religion, every ethical system, every mental health care expert agrees. It is not about the person forgiven, but about the person who forgives.
Now comes the second and hardest part. If Forgiveness is that wonderful, why is there so little of it? ( Please do not count the, “ I forgive you, but I will never let you live it down.” Forgiveness.) In fact, it took another 300 + days, and the only two reasons I can offer this now are 1} It’s Lent again and time for a new Virtue (Compassion) and 2} I promised myself to finish this piece of writing by March 1, 2010 and please forgive me, I’m going to.
That should not be interpreted as I have anything to offer in answer, because I remain as confused as ever. But I can offer two plausible explanations. Perhaps people hang on to the hate and anger because it pays off. Eckhart Tolle, in A New Earth, talks about the ego’s need to find form in constant thought. That long held grievances give meaning to the egos existence and it takes great courage and wisdom to step away from the “voice” in our head and see reality. We come to define ourselves as someone who had this done to us, or this said about us. Our ego realizes it’s greatest dream—to be noticed.
Secondly, seeing reality requires an autopsy of our lives and that can be very painful. Anger is a healthy response to immediate physical threats. If I cannot flee I may need to fight. Anger will keep me from feeling the pain when I get hit in the head. I will keep going and perhaps save my life. But long term anger is not protecting me from physical pain, so what is it protecting me from? Emotional pain. If I stop being angry, then reality will slowly emerge and I am forced to examine my responsibility in the situation. Perhaps there were kinder, better responses. That would make me partly to blame and realizing that indicates I might not be perfect. As long as I stay angry, I don’t need to face that.
I have a poster on my wall that says, “ The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes but having new eyes.” Proust.
The Amish in PA that comforted the family of the man who had killed their children, the man who reached out and healed the young adult who destroyed his son in a drunk driving accident, those who wished to include a candle for the murderer at the Front street shooting – those people had “new Eyes” and when God asks them ,” What did you do for the Least in my Kingdom?” they have a pretty good answer.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Hits, Misses and Musings
We just returned from a trip to Florida and I thought I would steal the column title of the New York giants Newsletter that appears after each game.
HITS
1. Gigantic hit to Allegiant Air. We had a great flight from Elmira directly to Sanford, Florida. It was quick, easy and Sanford is so much saner that Orlando International. On the return trip, we left Sanford at 8 and we were in our living room by 12:30.
2. Gigantic hit to Port Orleans. We have always stayed on Disney property, and this place was the usual high quality, convenient, well laid out experience you expect.
3. Big hit to Disney Transportation. They got us everywhere easily and without fuss. And the one time they were an hour late because of technical difficulties, they put someone on the bus to smooth everything over.
4. Super gigantic hit to Epcot World Showcase. OK , we had had a hellacious rainstorm about 5, so we went to the Cape May Restaurant for dinner. After dinner it had quit raining, but upon entering Epcot through the back door ( my favorite entrance to any park, anywhere) we discovered most people had gone home for the night. There were probably two thousand people left, which in Epcot is almost lonely. We had probably the nicest view of the light show ever, and then walked around the park for an hour or so after. Great time.
5. Big hit to Gail and Dean for giving us a beautiful send off dinner in Elmira, to the Margaret and her husband for sharing a delightful breakfast with us in Disney and a special hit to Fran and Karyl for getting us a reduction in rate and for sharing a very relaxing evening at Boma’s in the Animal Kingdom.
6. A hit to the bar in Port Orleans. Nice people, nice place.
7. Usual hit to Pirates and Haunted Mansion, plus the upgrade to the Earth ride at Epcot.
MISSES
1. Cocoa Beach. Fair is fair. Cocoa Beach is glorious in 60 plus, sunny weather. When it is 50, raining and windy not so much.
2. A conditional miss to Port Orleans food court. At 6 AM, after a nice walk it is wonderful, at 8 AM it is pleasant – by 8:30 ouch!! Keep an eye on the kids or they may become door prizes.
3. The Contemporary Hotel, which I used to love, especially the game room on the bottom floor. At one time it looked futuristic and exciting. Now it looks seedy and in need of serious refurbishing. And there is no bottom floor anymore!!
4. Kay will disagree, but one of the great joys of the Polynesian Hotel was coming through the doors on a hot day and being assailed by the scent. Sure the smell came from decaying plants, but it was just – special. Entering the Polynesian still feels like coming home, but now the center section has cut out much of the large growth and replaced it with orchids. Much brighter and much more colorful, but no Poly Stink.
5. MGM
6. Florida
MUSINGS
Just one big one has bothered me since the idea was put forward during the ride through the ball at Epcot. Did paper lead to the civilization of man, or did Civilization lead to the invention of paper? And how about the printing press? Was it really “ the reason for the Renaissance, or was it a byproduct that was inevitable?
Well, all and all it was a wonderful trip, despite the weather. Our welcome home was a little rocky, but that is a tale for another time.
We just returned from a trip to Florida and I thought I would steal the column title of the New York giants Newsletter that appears after each game.
HITS
1. Gigantic hit to Allegiant Air. We had a great flight from Elmira directly to Sanford, Florida. It was quick, easy and Sanford is so much saner that Orlando International. On the return trip, we left Sanford at 8 and we were in our living room by 12:30.
2. Gigantic hit to Port Orleans. We have always stayed on Disney property, and this place was the usual high quality, convenient, well laid out experience you expect.
3. Big hit to Disney Transportation. They got us everywhere easily and without fuss. And the one time they were an hour late because of technical difficulties, they put someone on the bus to smooth everything over.
4. Super gigantic hit to Epcot World Showcase. OK , we had had a hellacious rainstorm about 5, so we went to the Cape May Restaurant for dinner. After dinner it had quit raining, but upon entering Epcot through the back door ( my favorite entrance to any park, anywhere) we discovered most people had gone home for the night. There were probably two thousand people left, which in Epcot is almost lonely. We had probably the nicest view of the light show ever, and then walked around the park for an hour or so after. Great time.
5. Big hit to Gail and Dean for giving us a beautiful send off dinner in Elmira, to the Margaret and her husband for sharing a delightful breakfast with us in Disney and a special hit to Fran and Karyl for getting us a reduction in rate and for sharing a very relaxing evening at Boma’s in the Animal Kingdom.
6. A hit to the bar in Port Orleans. Nice people, nice place.
7. Usual hit to Pirates and Haunted Mansion, plus the upgrade to the Earth ride at Epcot.
MISSES
1. Cocoa Beach. Fair is fair. Cocoa Beach is glorious in 60 plus, sunny weather. When it is 50, raining and windy not so much.
2. A conditional miss to Port Orleans food court. At 6 AM, after a nice walk it is wonderful, at 8 AM it is pleasant – by 8:30 ouch!! Keep an eye on the kids or they may become door prizes.
3. The Contemporary Hotel, which I used to love, especially the game room on the bottom floor. At one time it looked futuristic and exciting. Now it looks seedy and in need of serious refurbishing. And there is no bottom floor anymore!!
4. Kay will disagree, but one of the great joys of the Polynesian Hotel was coming through the doors on a hot day and being assailed by the scent. Sure the smell came from decaying plants, but it was just – special. Entering the Polynesian still feels like coming home, but now the center section has cut out much of the large growth and replaced it with orchids. Much brighter and much more colorful, but no Poly Stink.
5. MGM
6. Florida
MUSINGS
Just one big one has bothered me since the idea was put forward during the ride through the ball at Epcot. Did paper lead to the civilization of man, or did Civilization lead to the invention of paper? And how about the printing press? Was it really “ the reason for the Renaissance, or was it a byproduct that was inevitable?
Well, all and all it was a wonderful trip, despite the weather. Our welcome home was a little rocky, but that is a tale for another time.
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