JOY and happiness
We often mistake happiness for joy and joy for happiness. They are no more related than weather and climate. Certainly there is a connection and some dependence on each other, but not to the point of interchangeability.
From birth we are taught to seek happiness. “Do what makes you happy!” “Go for it!” (it being somewhat elusive!) We pursue happiness in purchased form, in escape form, in thrill form, in unimaginable forms. And we find it. Short term.
I remember as a child wanting a radio in the worst way. I am just old enough to have experienced a time when radio was fun. We listened to story after story. Space Cadets, Johnnie Dollar, Our Miss Brooks, Fiber McGee and Molly, or The Great Gildersleeve. Who could forget lying in bed in the dark listening to Gangbusters, or Inner Sanctum or Suspense? But, we had only one radio and it was in the other room, so I never had control of what was listened to, and worst of all, when the powers that be determined it went off for the night, silence. I wanted my own. So one Christmas morning, I woke up and was presented with my very own radio. A clock radio no less. That radio and I enjoyed many great years together, even after it developed a nasty habit of shocking you whenever you tried to change the alarm setting. I found I would rather wake up at 6 AM on Sunday than get shocked blind Saturday night. That radio made me happy. It did not bring me joy.
Later in life I decided I wanted a telescope. I saved my money until I had the princely sum of $34.98 and I mailed a money order to Edmonds Scientific Corporation, and several weeks later my beautiful 3 inch reflecting telescope arrived. Despite the fact it no longer reflects anything, I still have it because it seems disloyal to throw it away. Plus I still want my $34. 98 worth. That telescope made me happy. It did not bring me joy.
I could go on. We bought an umbrella for the pool deck when the kids were little. I have no idea why, but I loved the bright colors. Looking at it made me happy, but guess what? It did not bring me joy.
I know we say, “You can’t buy happiness.” Poppycock. Money can buy you lots of happiness. It will be short term, it will not last and it will not be joy- but it will be happy.
Joy, on the other hand, is inside out. The feelings of Joy come from satisfaction, from peace, from love. When I look at Kay rocking Z, I am filled with pure Joy. To see someone else so happy and so devoted is special. When I rock Z, I feel the same Joy I felt when I rocked Jeremy and Nick and later Lydia. Nothing can steal that joy from me. And no money could buy it.
When I walk out on a perfect 63 degree, bright blue morning, I feel Joy. That is a gift from God and must be appreciated. I am astounded when I am passed by joggers plugged in to I Pods, and missing the moment that never comes again. And yet how many years did I walk around with a mental I Pod blocking out the special moments?
Good food brings happiness, but sharing it with good friends brings Joy. I still remember a dinner at the Treadway Inn with Nick, Kate, Jeremy, Denise and the two of us. It was one of the most joyous moments of life.
How many great meals did we share in Baltimore? And how much pure Joy has come in the Adirondacks with all of the friends from college?
In the end, I think Joy comes from being at peace with yourself. It is no secret that I spent many years convinced I was not good enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not skilled enough. Then I learned that I was good enough. That not only was I good enough, God actually liked me, thought I was just the way I was supposed to be. With that one cosmic hug, came a great inner peace that has allowed me to see and enjoy the world around me. All the anxiety and fear and worry, has been replaced with peace and Joy.