FORGIVENESS
It was suggested to me that rather than give up something for Lent, I should spend the forty days reading about, meditating on and trying to really comprehend one of the virtues. Forgiveness seemed a natural for me.
For the first few days it was pretty frustrating. Everything was a bumper sticker like , “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” Now bumper stickers are ok. They wouldn’t be bumper stickers if there wasn’t some truth to them. But not very deep.
There were suggestions of action, such as writing everything down and burning it. Sense “release as your words are carried to Heaven”. I actually did that and it helped a little, but I couldn’t figure out who in Heaven would want my ugly words.
But Lent lasts forty days, so I persisted. Gradually seemingly unrelated ideas started to fit together. And it started to make sense. Forgiveness isn’t a life choice, it is life.
The Lord’s prayer says it best. “Forgive me my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me.” The “as” in that section is not a conjunction but a conditional. Someday, I will be judged with the exact compassion, mercy and understanding I grant others.
Pretty simple, but not easy.
On the last day, I will supposedly be asked “What have you done for the least in my Kingdom.” So we all think of the starving, homeless and persecuted people we encounter. But I have come to believe the question is much deeper. The “least in my Kingdom” are the very people we are most angry at. The people who betrayed us, discarded us, told us we were not good enough those who have hurt us in the most profound ways. Did we truly forgive them or did we rejoice at their misfortunes? Did we engage in petty little revenges?
Still simple, but getting there.
Twenty days gone, twenty days left. Half way to understanding?
A rich man approaches Christ and asks to follow him. He is told to go and sell all his “stuff” and return. Sadly, the man turns away. It is just too hard. Again we assume this is about I Pods and dishwashers, --- and it is. But it may also be about the emotional goods we hold onto so strongly. To truly be a Christian is to release the things that we hold dearest – our grudges – our hurts- our need to “get even”. Those are the hardest things to give up.
BUT
You cannot serve two masters. To be a follower of Christ you must give up those most cherished hatreds, and see your enemy as they are-- fellow creations of God who are feeling the same hurt, the same rejection, the same fear you are.
Still simple, but nearly impossible to live.
Hence
“Many are called but few are chosen.” I have always thought that last may be a mistranslation. I think it should read, Many are called but few choose. To be a true follower of Christ requires a choice to surrender our human nature and replace it with divine nature, something we are organically unable to do. So, we must follow Christ to the very best of our abilities, with the assurance it is the effort, the desire that matters. We will never fully reach the goal, but it is the journey that matters.
In the end the bumper sticker I fell in love with was
“ Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past and using that energy to build a better future.”
So Lent has ended, and I think I have the WHY down. I hope to have the HOW down someday soon.
***** Just a footnote for anyone who stumbles on this and is not Christian. I think the failure here is all mine. I am simply not well enough versed in other beliefs to relate the ideas here in meaningful; ways. But I think the ideas are still valid.

GRAND JURY
So here is one more good reason to not drink and drive. Not only might you wreck your car, injure yourself or kill someone else, you will bore a Grand Jury to death!!
Since each case must be presented as if it were the only case in the world, the Prosecutor must introduce evidence that the suspect was given a field sobriety test, that the officer was qualified to give it, how it was conducted and how the defendant performed. They then must give evidence that a breath test was administered and again, what were the conditions how does the test work, what are the procedures and how did the defendant do.
I am sworn to secrecy about any proceedings that have taken place in the grand Jury room, so blogging about it might call into question how seriously I took all that. But it is safe to say that after the third case, it becomes boring, after the tenth case I began to understand why the windows on the sixth floor do not open. It is not to keep people out, but to keep jurors from leaping before one more Police Officer gets op with his pen and shows how he moves it left to right in front of a suspects eyes.

WE WAS ROBBED!!!!!
No, this was not a bad call in a baseball game, not a spoiled quart of milk, not a faulty new toy, this was a real, honest to goodness, Holy Cow === We was robbed!!!
At about 1:20 we threw our things in the car and went down to the park to meet a teacher and her class to plant in the park. Took about 20 minutes, then we hung around and watered the plants. Maybe another 10 minutes, then home. We had a whole list of afternoon things we were going to do, but when we got home, Kay saw that the desk had been gone through. She grabbed her purse which had been setting on the desk and sure enough the cash was gone. Her camera was also missing. I thought perhaps someone had looked in a window and used the opportunity to grab a free purse, but when I went upstairs, our bedroom had been trashed. All her mother’s jewelry and her own had been stolen. Nothing of great value, but irreplaceable in sentimental value. They had also found some silver dollars, Kennedy half dollars and 2 dollar bills I had been saving for years. Again, no great value, but MINE!!!!
The cretins had continued up the stairs into the attic and gone through a bunch of stuff, finding that our attic was full of --- well, junk.
The Police responded quickly and were probably more upset than we were. A neighborhood canvas was carried out, but fact is people were no more observant than I am.
The “watch” cats are not talking so I don’t know what they know or don’t know, but I will say when they finally showed up, they were pretty freaked out. Big Cat’s eyes were 6 times normal size. Frankie just stood in the middle of the floor and shed.
So now I am in the market for a home security system that works and is impervious to cats.

Final Exams - 2009
No matter how long I am retired I still have the rhythm of a teacher. The New Year is September 1, Final exams are always in June.
So, how did I do this year??
In the area of rebuilding our upstairs, well we did a nice job on the bathroom, 90% of the new room is completed, but we have not touched the hallway. So I guess that would be a C
A big goal for the winter was to master the computer. I did try a little on and off, but I still want to hit the thing with a large hammer. As to learning anything, F-
Outdoors, we have fish in our pond and the initial look of the gardens is beautiful. The early season of tulips and daffodils has been spectacular. Rebuilding the front lawn was a goal and it looks very healthy and happy. A
We had several nice trips and did some really relaxing, enjoyable things. I zip lined, toured the Panama Canal, spent a great week in Kiawah Island, toured Charleston, saw several good concerts and in general enjoyed much of the winter. We attended BU Basketball games and had some great dinners and conversations with a host of people. A+
Physically, it was a tough year. I walked a lot of miles, but when I started to lift weights or do any kind of strength training, something pulled, twisted or gave out. The only cure was rest the body part, but frustrating is mild. Stretching and Yoga and Pilates took time and at best I was hit and miss. Probably if I had been more religious about the stretching, the little naggers would not have occurred. C
When the year began, I felt like I had made a lot of progress in the area of spirituality but there was a lot of room to grow. I think I made a lot of progress, but it is a journey that never ends. You just hit plateaus.
A big step was the forty days spent contemplating Forgiveness and its role in our journey. I am trying to turn that event into writing, but it has been one of the most difficult writing pieces I have ever done. It is either trite, or New Age, and neither is what it deserves. INCOMPLETE
Finally, in September I never expected to be where I am in the world of hobbies. Through the great kindness of a school friend I have been riding horses a lot. I was an expert at taking care of the rear end of a horse, was competent at getting a saddle on one, but the tooth end was a mystery. Progress is being made. And in the world of music, I started taking guitar lessons. I’ve played for years, but never really well. In the last few weeks I have made some progress.
In general, this has been a very good year, a year of growth and wonderful memories =- So overall I think this past year is an A.

PICTURES FROM THE WEEK
I have two really clear pictures from the past week. Neither is life changing but the images are fixed in my mind.
The first one involves our two great hunting cats. Our Big Cat is pretty incompetent as a cat. The good news is she knows it and doesn’t seem to worried about it. Our little cat, Frankie, thinks she is the greatest hunter/ warrior to ever grace the earth.
One night last week I looked out on the glass enclosed back porch where they were both enjoying some sunny weather. Big Cat was upside down in the recliner, feet straight to heaven engaged in some feline meditation. Frankie is ferociously attacking a fly in the middle of the porch rug. The bug had no chance.
Now the funny part! Looking in at them was a neighborhood cat that keeps our neighborhood short of rabbits and groundhogs. He is exactly what you think of when you envision a hunting animal. He sat there for several minutes watching The two fake cats, did the equivalent of a cat head shake and walked away. Needless to say, neither Frankie or Big Cat even knew he was there.
The second picture is even funnier to my mind. I was at Val and Ron’s cottage for lunch. Normally I am not a great fan of venison, but Val had these smelling wonderful, so I tried one. Tasted very good, but just as I dug in, I noticed I was being watched by a stuffed deer head on the wall. There was just something odd about the whole experience.

Star Projectors
While we were at the South Carolina Aquarium in Charleston, we found a star projector we gave our granddaughter. I have no idea what she thought of it, but I remember when I was in sixth grade I built my own.
Back in those days, you could actually sit outside at night and see the Milky Way from my backyard. I spent hours watching the stars and imagining other worlds. Naturally I was a big Science Fiction fan. I devoured anything Robert Heinlein wrote, searched used book stores for paperback Sci Fi copies and scoured the TV listings for anything remotely related to “the unknown”.
I saved up $31. 78 and mailed it to Edmund Scientific Company for a 3 inch reflecting telescope. From my backyard I watched Saturn, Jupiter, Mercury, Venus and Mars. I rigged a projector screen that allowed me to track sunspots crossing the surface of the sun. But the “Great Idea” was yet to come.
While studying the Edmund Catalogue, I was tempted by a projector that would shine constellations on the ceiling of the room. Now I could have the telescope, or the projector, but not both. Or could I??
My first attempt was an oatmeal box with a flashlight shoved in the bottom and holes punched in the top that matched the Big Dipper. Way too much light escaped from the flashlight end of the box and the flashlight flopped around a lot. But essentially ---- it worked! I painted the inside of the box with flat black paint to cut down on reflection, built a holder for the flashlight, and taped every possible opening. Only one problem left.
After watching the Big Dipper for about 12 seconds, it gets boring. I needed a way to project other constellations. I could either eat 400 boxes of oatmeal, or figure a way to interchange tops. As it happened, my Father brought home used tally cards from Endicott Johnson. These were basically 3 X 5 cards used to track boxes of shoe soles. Once used they were thrown out. There were always a bunch laying around the house, so I used them to lay out each constellation. Now how to secure to the oatmeal box? I used my erector set and constructed a metal slot that attached to the oatmeal top. Now each card could be slid over the opening in the box top and projected onto ?????
As it turned out, the wall worked only if the projector was the right distance away. Too close and the constellation was cramped, too far away and it was not crisp enough. The solution was another box, folded to resemble a screen at a drive in movie, painted white and held the exact distance from the projector by two pieces of wood that connected the projector and screen. Amazingly, the whole thing worked, and must have worked pretty well. I entered it in the Seventh Grade Science fair and won second place, which allowed me to go on to the big time Science fair at Broome Tec.
My best friend won first place with a Van De Graff Generator. This consisted of a large electrical ball on the end of a tube. Apparently it generated 4 zillion volts of useless and harmless electricity. But it did make your hair stand straight out from your head if you were silly enough to grab hold of the thing. (I had spent way too much time with Ken to touch it myself. )
Anyway, we had a delightful time, got some positive recognition and used the experience to form the Deyo Hill Science club. This consisted of myself, Ken and several other guys who were interested in “ the world beyond” It should be noted that several of these caricature might well have been from the “ world beyond” already but we had fun. In truth, the fun was mostly me giving Ken money to help buy the parts for a ten inch reflecting telescope. I built most of the tube work which was pretty simple, he ground the mirror which was incredibly difficult. This pattern continued throughout life. He is now a Doctor of Quantum Physics and I build bookcases.
We used the telescope a few times, but in truth it weighed so much and was so awkward to move, even with the motor driven tracking system, that the novelty soon wore off. Plus Saturn occasionally had three distinct rings and forty seven moons. I checked and this didn’t seem accurate.
So perhaps I owe my granddaughter an apology for all the doors of adventure I may have opened. I can’t wait to introduce her to the horses I have come to know.

PERFECT DAY
This was one of those perfect days that come in Spring. After Kay left for school, I walked through the park. The weather was exactly right. About 40 degrees, sunny with just enough breeze to invigorate. God and I had a wonderful discussion about joy and peace. Not surprisingly, he agreed with most of my ideas.
When I got home, I dragged the dahlias out of the cellar and planted them in the back garden, cleaned up some furniture, made a gigantic cup of Decafe coffee and sat by the waterfall. As long as I remained motionless, the birds came for their baths without seeming to mind my intrusion.
Later in the day, Bob Shields and I walked Chenango Street looking for places we could put trees. We found a surprising number of locations and everyone we spoke to seemed amenable to the idea.
By five, Kay was home and we had our first wine tasting by the stream. I started a charcoal fire, ( I must have been a pyromaniac in a past life) and we had our first BarbyQ of the season. Of course this included eating on the porch. After supper, we sat on the porch and planned out the lesson for Church on Sunday and for the Zoo on Saturday. Shortly I will retire to bed and start a new book in the Sharing Knife series, something I have fondly awaited for a year.