We just returned from seven glorious days on Cocoa Beach. The very first night, something occurred that brought back all my fond and not so fond memories of Creative Problem Solving. For the uninitiated, Creative Problem Solving was developed at the University of Buffalo by Alex Osborne and Dr. Sidney Parnes in the early 60’s. Johnson City became involved in the mid 70’s and I got to attend several presentations by Dr. Parnes. The process is divided into 6 stages and each stage is again divided into divergent and convergent exercises. It is thorough, effective and takes a sizable portion of your life. I always thought if you put the Israelis and Arabs together in a room and forced them to follow the process, they would agree to peace just to get out of the room. While not all six stages have to be completed every time, the most common failure in any problem solving attempt, is skipping the first step; Problem Finding. What I still remember most vividly about Parnes’s lecture was the admonition to be sure you were solving the right problem. He claimed, and life has since verified, that much effort is spent solving the wrong problem, and then complaining about how nothing was fixed.
Last Thursday night, as we strolled along Cocoa Beach, a solitary sea gull pulled a fish from the water’s edge. Just as he settled in for a dining treat, down swooped another gull and stole his fish. With a seagull sound of rage he dashed after the first seagull, hot on the feathers of the thief. Within seconds, he caught the miscreant, bit him in the rear and forced the ill gotten gains to be dropped. At that moment he had solved his problem, only he forgot step one of Creative Problem Solving and continued to badger and beat his enemy. Meanwhile, a third seagull slipped in and made off with the fish. (Who seems to be the real looser.)
This would not be a notable story except it all came back to me the next morning as I read the newspaper about our newest war effort. How easy it will be to lose sight of the real problem in Libya and morf it into another national disaster. And then right below it were several stories about how we are broke and can not afford to pay for an educational system that might lead to thinkers that could unbreak us because all the money is going to fight wars that are not solving any of the original problems. And all the time claiming to be the most Christian country in the world while we build a military that can kill every living thing on earth 5 times over and elect people whose rallying cry is cutting services to the weakest and poorest, and justifying breaking long made promises to faithful public servants. Am I the only one whose head is spinning?
Friday, March 25, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
On Containers and Content
On Containers and Content
What I want to do is give you a sort of map for the life journey, out and back. If you know the terrain ahead of time, including the crossover points, perhaps a successful journey is more likely. I would quickly add, none of this thinking is mine nor should it be mistaken for anything “New Age”. Much is from Father Richard Rohr who draws on ancient Christian Meditations and writings and is surprisingly backed by much Eastern Philosophy.
If Father Richard is correct, and I believe he is, your life’s work is in two parts; building the container and discovering the contents.
Once upon a time there was a very good young cartoonist. By himself, he would be a foot note in cartoon history. His brother was a business genius. By himself, he would be a footnote in economic history. Together, Walt and Roy built first Disneyland and then Disney World. By themselves they would have been judged “successful” by the world. Together they accomplished magic.
Contained in each of us from birth is exactly the same magic. At birth, two forces are united. The first is mortal and comes from the inside out, the second is immortal and comes from the outside in. The mortal one, the ego, is terrifically important in the first phase of life, but it is the second one, the spirit, or soul, that carries the blueprints of what our “true” lives should be.
The first phase of life, is about building the container that holds the spirit. This job falls mostly to the human ego. Since the ego is mortal and can see only from the inside out, it is inevitably self centered. It sees everything as a great drama in which you are the heroine or victim. It requires constant sacrifice; it will revel in perceived slights and insults, for this gives it importance. It will be unable to forgive, to dispense mercy, to give aid, unless it somehow sees this as increasing its status. For status is what it is all about; acquisition of material goods, climbing higher and higher, being the best, demanding constant adoration. For this small self to be right, everyone else has to be wrong.
The spirit has no need for adoration. Being immortal and seeing from the outside in, the spirit views everything the ego loves as fleeting and insignificant. It is quick to forgive; in fact it often has a hard time remembering what it is that needs to be forgiven. It is inevitably dualistic in its thinking. It understands that there are three truths: THE truth, your truth, and the other person’s truth, and knows that the first can never be understood without understanding the last. For the spirit, the only important task is the one given it at the beginning. And this task is unique and different for every soul. In all of creation, you are the only one given the task you carry. It knows its job is to become the great self.
Apart, both ego and spirit are doomed to a failed journey. Ego alone will quickly become cruel and ugly, spirit alone is far too fragile to survive in the world of men. Together they are capable of all the glory and beauty intended at creation. But it will take a journey.
In that first phase, and it may take many, many years, (the spirit is in no hurry), you will experience great joy and wonder, and no little amount of suffering. That is just the way it is. It will all seem terribly important. You will believe that your life’s work is to become “the best you can be!” It is, but not in the way you will think it is. If I could give you one piece of advice for this first phase, it would be to recognize your life is momentous. It is made up of moments. Each moment is the only real one there is. Suck every bit of joy from every moment as you live it. The sunsets over the ocean will be easy to appreciate, the trip to the dentist may not be. But each one must be savored and enjoyed, for they are the only reality. The past is unchangeable, the future unknown, regrets about the gone, or fear of the yet to be only rob the present of its joy.
Remember “It is what it is --- until it isn’t!” NO matter what you do, no matter how much you think you have messed up a situation, no journey fails in this first phase. Forgiveness, reconciliation, mercy and compassion are always possible. Only by refusing the offer to enter the second phase of life, is a journey failed.
The crossover from first to second phase seems to involve suffering of some sort. Now this may not be true for all, some may move gradually and peacefully from one to the other, but all my reading, all my discussions, all my experience is that it requires suffering. To move through the door from the world of man to the world of the divine, requires a choice, and the ego knows that once through the door, its ascendancy is over. Now you will read much about this requiring the ego to die, or be defeated. Nonsense!! What would have happened to the Disney empire if one or the other of the brothers had died or been defeated?
But the ego must be gentled, tamed. That is the struggle of the second half of life. You, the master of both the ego and the spirit, must harness the two and discover the real, authentic you; that spark inside of you, that only you can discover. And then you must let it shine through the container built in the first half of life. Like any well used container it has some nicks and cracks and marks on it. By itself, it is just a container. But with the spirit within shining out, it becomes a chalice. Each time you choose love over hate ( and in the world of men, it will be far easier to choose hate over love) you create a little translucent place in the chalice. Enough of these places and the light from within will flood out through the most beautiful stained glass imaginable.
So the “real” job of life, as father Richard puts it is:
“ to give back fully and freely what was first given to us—but now writ personally—by us! It is probably the most courageous and free act we will ever perform—and it takes both halves of our lives to do it fully. The first half is discovering the script, and the second half is actually writing it and owning it.”
I think of the crossover point between the first and second phase of life as a “mudroom of heaven” Mud rooms were entrance ways to farm homes. It was here the workers rid themselves of the accumulated dirt and yuck from the fields and barns of everyday life. Scrubbed clean, in fresh cloths, they could enter the home. By honestly and truly recognizing your faults and failures, your cruelties and lacks of compassion, you become sacredly clean enough to enter the true home of your soul. I think most failed journeys occur at this point because it is incredibly painful and humbling to step back and see our true selves. But it frees you for the glories of the future life. For once through the “mudroom” you can never see anything in the same way. The journey back to your authentic self will look so much different than the journey out. Nor does the struggle end here. In fact on many levels it just begins. But that is part of the magic.
And so that is enough to think about for a life time. I should end here, but I fear I might leave the impression that I have it all figured out, or that I understood anything before. In truth, five years ago, I would have mocked nearly everything written here. Until I was 60 years old, I was so busy being afraid of not being good enough, or not having enough I missed much of my life. I understand the failures of the ego so well because I suffered every flaw myself. My time in the mud room was filled with pain and hurt and hopelessness. It was the worst/best time ever. As to the second phase of life, since I have just begun it, much of the mystery still remains for me. I hope to let you know how it turns out shortly after you read this. And just like life, I begin with what I started with. God thinks you are really special.
What I want to do is give you a sort of map for the life journey, out and back. If you know the terrain ahead of time, including the crossover points, perhaps a successful journey is more likely. I would quickly add, none of this thinking is mine nor should it be mistaken for anything “New Age”. Much is from Father Richard Rohr who draws on ancient Christian Meditations and writings and is surprisingly backed by much Eastern Philosophy.
If Father Richard is correct, and I believe he is, your life’s work is in two parts; building the container and discovering the contents.
Once upon a time there was a very good young cartoonist. By himself, he would be a foot note in cartoon history. His brother was a business genius. By himself, he would be a footnote in economic history. Together, Walt and Roy built first Disneyland and then Disney World. By themselves they would have been judged “successful” by the world. Together they accomplished magic.
Contained in each of us from birth is exactly the same magic. At birth, two forces are united. The first is mortal and comes from the inside out, the second is immortal and comes from the outside in. The mortal one, the ego, is terrifically important in the first phase of life, but it is the second one, the spirit, or soul, that carries the blueprints of what our “true” lives should be.
The first phase of life, is about building the container that holds the spirit. This job falls mostly to the human ego. Since the ego is mortal and can see only from the inside out, it is inevitably self centered. It sees everything as a great drama in which you are the heroine or victim. It requires constant sacrifice; it will revel in perceived slights and insults, for this gives it importance. It will be unable to forgive, to dispense mercy, to give aid, unless it somehow sees this as increasing its status. For status is what it is all about; acquisition of material goods, climbing higher and higher, being the best, demanding constant adoration. For this small self to be right, everyone else has to be wrong.
The spirit has no need for adoration. Being immortal and seeing from the outside in, the spirit views everything the ego loves as fleeting and insignificant. It is quick to forgive; in fact it often has a hard time remembering what it is that needs to be forgiven. It is inevitably dualistic in its thinking. It understands that there are three truths: THE truth, your truth, and the other person’s truth, and knows that the first can never be understood without understanding the last. For the spirit, the only important task is the one given it at the beginning. And this task is unique and different for every soul. In all of creation, you are the only one given the task you carry. It knows its job is to become the great self.
Apart, both ego and spirit are doomed to a failed journey. Ego alone will quickly become cruel and ugly, spirit alone is far too fragile to survive in the world of men. Together they are capable of all the glory and beauty intended at creation. But it will take a journey.
In that first phase, and it may take many, many years, (the spirit is in no hurry), you will experience great joy and wonder, and no little amount of suffering. That is just the way it is. It will all seem terribly important. You will believe that your life’s work is to become “the best you can be!” It is, but not in the way you will think it is. If I could give you one piece of advice for this first phase, it would be to recognize your life is momentous. It is made up of moments. Each moment is the only real one there is. Suck every bit of joy from every moment as you live it. The sunsets over the ocean will be easy to appreciate, the trip to the dentist may not be. But each one must be savored and enjoyed, for they are the only reality. The past is unchangeable, the future unknown, regrets about the gone, or fear of the yet to be only rob the present of its joy.
Remember “It is what it is --- until it isn’t!” NO matter what you do, no matter how much you think you have messed up a situation, no journey fails in this first phase. Forgiveness, reconciliation, mercy and compassion are always possible. Only by refusing the offer to enter the second phase of life, is a journey failed.
The crossover from first to second phase seems to involve suffering of some sort. Now this may not be true for all, some may move gradually and peacefully from one to the other, but all my reading, all my discussions, all my experience is that it requires suffering. To move through the door from the world of man to the world of the divine, requires a choice, and the ego knows that once through the door, its ascendancy is over. Now you will read much about this requiring the ego to die, or be defeated. Nonsense!! What would have happened to the Disney empire if one or the other of the brothers had died or been defeated?
But the ego must be gentled, tamed. That is the struggle of the second half of life. You, the master of both the ego and the spirit, must harness the two and discover the real, authentic you; that spark inside of you, that only you can discover. And then you must let it shine through the container built in the first half of life. Like any well used container it has some nicks and cracks and marks on it. By itself, it is just a container. But with the spirit within shining out, it becomes a chalice. Each time you choose love over hate ( and in the world of men, it will be far easier to choose hate over love) you create a little translucent place in the chalice. Enough of these places and the light from within will flood out through the most beautiful stained glass imaginable.
So the “real” job of life, as father Richard puts it is:
“ to give back fully and freely what was first given to us—but now writ personally—by us! It is probably the most courageous and free act we will ever perform—and it takes both halves of our lives to do it fully. The first half is discovering the script, and the second half is actually writing it and owning it.”
I think of the crossover point between the first and second phase of life as a “mudroom of heaven” Mud rooms were entrance ways to farm homes. It was here the workers rid themselves of the accumulated dirt and yuck from the fields and barns of everyday life. Scrubbed clean, in fresh cloths, they could enter the home. By honestly and truly recognizing your faults and failures, your cruelties and lacks of compassion, you become sacredly clean enough to enter the true home of your soul. I think most failed journeys occur at this point because it is incredibly painful and humbling to step back and see our true selves. But it frees you for the glories of the future life. For once through the “mudroom” you can never see anything in the same way. The journey back to your authentic self will look so much different than the journey out. Nor does the struggle end here. In fact on many levels it just begins. But that is part of the magic.
And so that is enough to think about for a life time. I should end here, but I fear I might leave the impression that I have it all figured out, or that I understood anything before. In truth, five years ago, I would have mocked nearly everything written here. Until I was 60 years old, I was so busy being afraid of not being good enough, or not having enough I missed much of my life. I understand the failures of the ego so well because I suffered every flaw myself. My time in the mud room was filled with pain and hurt and hopelessness. It was the worst/best time ever. As to the second phase of life, since I have just begun it, much of the mystery still remains for me. I hope to let you know how it turns out shortly after you read this. And just like life, I begin with what I started with. God thinks you are really special.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Letter Part Two
Now that you have appreciated the people in your life, let me, with great humility and thanks to people far wiser than I, describe what lies before you. You will hear again and again that life is a “path”, a “road” a “journey”. Each of those is a useful image, but they imply a movement from here to there. The “There” being who you are not now, but who you must struggle to become. I think that is nonsense because you are already complete. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. The trick is to complete your journey exactly where you started.
When I was little, I was confined to the house every winter. My playworld was the living room, adjoining bedroom and kitchen. My greatest joy was being master of “Train World”. Now these were not the delicate little HO trains that pass for model trains today, but the great cast iron indestructible Lionel Trains. I would create infinite and elaborate pathways. Often the trains would leave the power terminals, shoot out of the living room into the bedroom, under the bed, behind the dresser, into the kitchen, beneath the table and back to the living room and home to the power source. They were supposed to always return to the very place they had begun. Now sometimes, when they got as far away from the power source as possible they would stall. Either they were just too far away, or the burden of their cargo dragged them down. Occasionally they ran afoul of a furniture leg and fell off the track. In either case they needed a gentle hand to urge them along, or set them back on track.
I think that image of life is a much more accurate one. We leave from a source of power and we wander through infinitely varied paths, always to return to the beginning source of power. Coming back you will have a great view of where you have been. If your journey has been successful, the view will have a much different look. The things that seemed so important weren’t and many of things that seemed insignificant really were gigantic.
It would be wonderful at this point to assure you that everyone completes their trip. That is totally true and totally untrue. Everyone will complete A trip, because everyone will end.
But not everyone ends up where they started, and anything less is a failure. Many will be stalled by the weight of their journey; some will be knocked from the track by adversity. The lucky will find a gentle hand to restart them, to retrack them.
Even more will be diverted to a siding- a track that leads them away from the main route to a dead end.
These sidings are all along the authentic path. Some, like substance abuse, are rusty and dark and clearly a diversion. Those are easy to avoid. The dangerous ones are the bright, shining routes that look and sound so inviting. So journey carefully. The authentic path is always love - it is healing, uniting, compassionate and forgiving. Anything that is not this, is not the authentic path. Should you start down one of these sidings and realize it is about hurting, separation, hate or revenge; stop, back up and seek the authentic journey once more.
And so we come to another break. Put this letter down – it is nearly done- and look at your 16 years of life. They have been wonderful and joyous and spectacular – even if you do not see it now, you will on the way back. Accept that you are exactly where you are meant to be at this moment. And this moment is the only one that is real. All that is past is past, all that is to come is to come. Regretting what was or fearing what will be, only steals the peace and joy of this moment.
So put this letter down for an hour, or a week or a year. All that is left is the container making and the content finding.
Now that you have appreciated the people in your life, let me, with great humility and thanks to people far wiser than I, describe what lies before you. You will hear again and again that life is a “path”, a “road” a “journey”. Each of those is a useful image, but they imply a movement from here to there. The “There” being who you are not now, but who you must struggle to become. I think that is nonsense because you are already complete. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. The trick is to complete your journey exactly where you started.
When I was little, I was confined to the house every winter. My playworld was the living room, adjoining bedroom and kitchen. My greatest joy was being master of “Train World”. Now these were not the delicate little HO trains that pass for model trains today, but the great cast iron indestructible Lionel Trains. I would create infinite and elaborate pathways. Often the trains would leave the power terminals, shoot out of the living room into the bedroom, under the bed, behind the dresser, into the kitchen, beneath the table and back to the living room and home to the power source. They were supposed to always return to the very place they had begun. Now sometimes, when they got as far away from the power source as possible they would stall. Either they were just too far away, or the burden of their cargo dragged them down. Occasionally they ran afoul of a furniture leg and fell off the track. In either case they needed a gentle hand to urge them along, or set them back on track.
I think that image of life is a much more accurate one. We leave from a source of power and we wander through infinitely varied paths, always to return to the beginning source of power. Coming back you will have a great view of where you have been. If your journey has been successful, the view will have a much different look. The things that seemed so important weren’t and many of things that seemed insignificant really were gigantic.
It would be wonderful at this point to assure you that everyone completes their trip. That is totally true and totally untrue. Everyone will complete A trip, because everyone will end.
But not everyone ends up where they started, and anything less is a failure. Many will be stalled by the weight of their journey; some will be knocked from the track by adversity. The lucky will find a gentle hand to restart them, to retrack them.
Even more will be diverted to a siding- a track that leads them away from the main route to a dead end.
These sidings are all along the authentic path. Some, like substance abuse, are rusty and dark and clearly a diversion. Those are easy to avoid. The dangerous ones are the bright, shining routes that look and sound so inviting. So journey carefully. The authentic path is always love - it is healing, uniting, compassionate and forgiving. Anything that is not this, is not the authentic path. Should you start down one of these sidings and realize it is about hurting, separation, hate or revenge; stop, back up and seek the authentic journey once more.
And so we come to another break. Put this letter down – it is nearly done- and look at your 16 years of life. They have been wonderful and joyous and spectacular – even if you do not see it now, you will on the way back. Accept that you are exactly where you are meant to be at this moment. And this moment is the only one that is real. All that is past is past, all that is to come is to come. Regretting what was or fearing what will be, only steals the peace and joy of this moment.
So put this letter down for an hour, or a week or a year. All that is left is the container making and the content finding.
Monday, January 24, 2011
An open letter to my 16 year old Granddaughters
As I write this, one of you is 6 years and one of you is 6 months old. What possible advice or guidance can an old man give about a future he is unable to imagine? Well, as to advice, as a 16 year old girl, avoid all 16 year old boys. As a recovering 16 year old I can tell you they are up to no good! And for that matter 17 and 18 year old boys are even worse.
As to guidance through life, I can tell you only one thing of importance. God thinks you are the most wonderful, special, gifted creation of all time. But that’s not a miracle. Your parents feel the same way about you. So do I, so do your Grandmothers. The miracle comes later.
Now I know you have heard all about God’s love from your earliest moments. It is on billboards, and in books and all around us. We all know it, we just don’t believe it. If we did we would behave in a different way. Maybe this very simple example will help explain what I mean.
When I first learned to drive, I was taught to always look in the rearview mirror before pulling out into traffic. Dad must have told me that 500 times, I wrote it on the driving test; I could tell anyone who asked, “Look before pulling out.” I knew it, I just didn’t believe it.
Then one early morning along route 23 in Windom Township, I jumped into my car, never glanced in the mirror and pulled out in front of a tractor trailer. Only through the great skills of the truck driver do either of you exist. For the next 45 years I never failed to check the mirror before pulling out. I had gone from knowing to believing. When I believed, I behaved differently, I understood differently.
When you truly understand God loves you, you see things through a whole new set of eyes. For the first 60 years of life, I lived in fear. What if I couldn’t pay the bills? What if these people didn’t like me? What if I made a mistake, what if I didn’t get invited or got lost or didn’t know what to say? Often I was so scared, my mind left my body and I just stood there totally mute. And I was my own worst critic. Nothing I did was good enough. I wasn’t a good enough son, or husband or teacher or father or friend or person.
Then, for a lot of good reasons, most my own fault, I reached a very dark place. And perhaps because I was totally defeated, God was able to work miracles within me and I came to not just know that God loved me, but to believe God loved me.
The world began to look different. If God loved me, I was good enough. And more importantly, so was everyone and everything else, even the people I was mad at, or I didn’t like. And all the lizards and snakes and insects and crawly things that I had avoided, were good enough, because God thought they were.
And that is the great miracle of God! God feels the same way about every part and every molecule of his creation. He loves the fluffy little kitten, but he also loves the rat. He loves the poor suffering child, but he loves the virus that caused the suffering. If God feels that way about everything in his creation, how would I dare not feel the same?
Something else looks different as well. You will hear again and again when something is unexplainable that, “It is part of God’s plan.”If all the above is real and God is perfect love, then it is also true that God does not send hurricanes or childhood cancers or horrible family fights to his beloved children in order to teach them some lesson. Horrible things are the product of nature, or unlucky genes or our own human stupidity.
But God does use those things to work great wonders. As you age, you will be amazed at how many times great displays of love and compassion and healing come from great tragedies. Love, forgiveness, compassion and healing is God among us. Anything else is not God. Voices , no matter how loud or compelling, that proclaim God, but promote separation, judgment, hurt or punishment are not of God.
For now that is more than enough. Put this letter aside, and go and find your parents and tell them that just like God, you love them and appreciate everything they do for you. Even chasing those 16 year old boys away!
As I write this, one of you is 6 years and one of you is 6 months old. What possible advice or guidance can an old man give about a future he is unable to imagine? Well, as to advice, as a 16 year old girl, avoid all 16 year old boys. As a recovering 16 year old I can tell you they are up to no good! And for that matter 17 and 18 year old boys are even worse.
As to guidance through life, I can tell you only one thing of importance. God thinks you are the most wonderful, special, gifted creation of all time. But that’s not a miracle. Your parents feel the same way about you. So do I, so do your Grandmothers. The miracle comes later.
Now I know you have heard all about God’s love from your earliest moments. It is on billboards, and in books and all around us. We all know it, we just don’t believe it. If we did we would behave in a different way. Maybe this very simple example will help explain what I mean.
When I first learned to drive, I was taught to always look in the rearview mirror before pulling out into traffic. Dad must have told me that 500 times, I wrote it on the driving test; I could tell anyone who asked, “Look before pulling out.” I knew it, I just didn’t believe it.
Then one early morning along route 23 in Windom Township, I jumped into my car, never glanced in the mirror and pulled out in front of a tractor trailer. Only through the great skills of the truck driver do either of you exist. For the next 45 years I never failed to check the mirror before pulling out. I had gone from knowing to believing. When I believed, I behaved differently, I understood differently.
When you truly understand God loves you, you see things through a whole new set of eyes. For the first 60 years of life, I lived in fear. What if I couldn’t pay the bills? What if these people didn’t like me? What if I made a mistake, what if I didn’t get invited or got lost or didn’t know what to say? Often I was so scared, my mind left my body and I just stood there totally mute. And I was my own worst critic. Nothing I did was good enough. I wasn’t a good enough son, or husband or teacher or father or friend or person.
Then, for a lot of good reasons, most my own fault, I reached a very dark place. And perhaps because I was totally defeated, God was able to work miracles within me and I came to not just know that God loved me, but to believe God loved me.
The world began to look different. If God loved me, I was good enough. And more importantly, so was everyone and everything else, even the people I was mad at, or I didn’t like. And all the lizards and snakes and insects and crawly things that I had avoided, were good enough, because God thought they were.
And that is the great miracle of God! God feels the same way about every part and every molecule of his creation. He loves the fluffy little kitten, but he also loves the rat. He loves the poor suffering child, but he loves the virus that caused the suffering. If God feels that way about everything in his creation, how would I dare not feel the same?
Something else looks different as well. You will hear again and again when something is unexplainable that, “It is part of God’s plan.”If all the above is real and God is perfect love, then it is also true that God does not send hurricanes or childhood cancers or horrible family fights to his beloved children in order to teach them some lesson. Horrible things are the product of nature, or unlucky genes or our own human stupidity.
But God does use those things to work great wonders. As you age, you will be amazed at how many times great displays of love and compassion and healing come from great tragedies. Love, forgiveness, compassion and healing is God among us. Anything else is not God. Voices , no matter how loud or compelling, that proclaim God, but promote separation, judgment, hurt or punishment are not of God.
For now that is more than enough. Put this letter aside, and go and find your parents and tell them that just like God, you love them and appreciate everything they do for you. Even chasing those 16 year old boys away!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The following is a quote from Rhichard Rhor's daily meditation blog. I find it impossible to say it better, so I'll cheat a little.
"Ken Wilbur says that he believes the function of religion is to grease the wheels of history so that we can move toward non-dual consciousness, or what I would call the contemplative mind. Quite simply, we are supposed to move toward love. Mature religion;s function is to make us capable of compassion, mercy, forgiveness, nonviolence and care for others. When religion is not creating people who can reconcile things, heal things, and absorb contradictions, - then religion isn't doing its job. "
It seems so often the rituals of religion become the religion. We exist to serve the forms, not the forms existing to serve us. How many honest souls in search of truth have been mislead into thinking they had found it, because they could recite every prayer or made every observance, but they had missed the most important words in the Gospels? Over and over, it says something to the effect, if you believe you are righteous and holy, but hold hate in your heart you are neither righteous or holy. You can not serve two masters. You will serve love or fear, but not both and not one at one moment and another at another moment. And being human, fear is the much more powerful, which is why constant, daily conversion is so needed.
"Ken Wilbur says that he believes the function of religion is to grease the wheels of history so that we can move toward non-dual consciousness, or what I would call the contemplative mind. Quite simply, we are supposed to move toward love. Mature religion;s function is to make us capable of compassion, mercy, forgiveness, nonviolence and care for others. When religion is not creating people who can reconcile things, heal things, and absorb contradictions, - then religion isn't doing its job. "
It seems so often the rituals of religion become the religion. We exist to serve the forms, not the forms existing to serve us. How many honest souls in search of truth have been mislead into thinking they had found it, because they could recite every prayer or made every observance, but they had missed the most important words in the Gospels? Over and over, it says something to the effect, if you believe you are righteous and holy, but hold hate in your heart you are neither righteous or holy. You can not serve two masters. You will serve love or fear, but not both and not one at one moment and another at another moment. And being human, fear is the much more powerful, which is why constant, daily conversion is so needed.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
And so Christmas is back in the box, the baby sleeps and perhaps some of the peace and good will remains. This is both the saddest time of year and the most hopeful. Perhaps when the boxes open next year, real pace will have replaced the possibility of peace.
The resolutions have been made, and for the most part broken. This will not be the year I lose 20 pounds, nor will it be the year I bench press 180. Those are dreams of the past, but this year I might walk 1000 miles, I might do more exercise with less weight. Perhaps Yoga becomes more than an annoying duty.
Perhaps this will be the year I achieve a miniscule part of the spiritual growth I need. Perhaps this will be the year I grow slightly more patient, the year I become less sure I know the answer. Perhaps this will be the year I finally put cancer to rest.
Perhaps this is the year I learn to be present and to accept what is, to live totally in this moment and to release nothing but joy and healing and peace.
And just maybe this will be the year one foot moves closer to the Kingdom of Heaven, while the other remains rooted in the Kingdom of Man.
The resolutions have been made, and for the most part broken. This will not be the year I lose 20 pounds, nor will it be the year I bench press 180. Those are dreams of the past, but this year I might walk 1000 miles, I might do more exercise with less weight. Perhaps Yoga becomes more than an annoying duty.
Perhaps this will be the year I achieve a miniscule part of the spiritual growth I need. Perhaps this will be the year I grow slightly more patient, the year I become less sure I know the answer. Perhaps this will be the year I finally put cancer to rest.
Perhaps this is the year I learn to be present and to accept what is, to live totally in this moment and to release nothing but joy and healing and peace.
And just maybe this will be the year one foot moves closer to the Kingdom of Heaven, while the other remains rooted in the Kingdom of Man.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
On Becoming Franciscan
Numerous people have asked me what the Tau Cross I now wear signifies. I explain it is a mark of being a member of the Secular Order of Franciscans, and that it marks those wearing it as belonging to God. On a deep level I have chosen to live out the Gospel Message as best I see it.
While I am explaining this, I listen to myself and the answer always leaves me unsatisfied. Don’t we all belong to God?? Don’t most of us try and live out the Gospel? Of course!! Is it really necessary to join a group to accomplish this?
For two months I have spent much of my writing time trying to compose a coherent explanation for why I made a decision to join the Franciscans. All I produced was lots of recycling. The problem was that I was describing an event, as if it were a single moment with a before and an after. Like a wedding. I was not married and then after December 21, 1968 I was. But there is a gigantic difference between a wedding and a marriage.
When I asked Kathryn to marry me, there were lots of reasons. I liked her ---- for some silly reason she seemed to like me, and she was really attractive. Most of all, I thought moving through life with this person would be “cool”. 42 years ago I would have used the word love instead of like, but 42 years later I realize the person I was, had no idea what real love was. Love grows and deepens with work and shared joys and shared suffering until the point is reached where there is no way to tell where you end and the other person begins.
It would be wonderful to be able to “go it alone”, to seek and find “the inner self”, the soul by myself. But I have discovered I am like the wheat seed that falls on good ground and flourishes, only to be overcome by weeds. By joining a group with the same goals, I have other people to keep me growing, weed free. Part of Franciscan teaching, is that conversion is daily, that each and every day is a new chance to grow closer to God. And that growth is always paradoxical.
Francis and Clare took vows of poverty, but it was not money they were giving up, but power. They choose to accept complete powerlessness, and in so doing became incredibly powerful. They choose what most people would see as a dour, confined life and became joyful and free. By seeing God in every part of creation, they were free to see God in themselves.
We all agree we are part of the body of Christ. But most people see themselves as the Aorta, or the brain stem, or something viewed as “important.” But if we are a complete body, someone has to be the toenail. On the surface, that seems like a disgusting picture, but anyone who has damaged or lost a toenail understands how taken for granted this body part is, until it is lost. What I most love about Francis and Clare was their total willingness to be the toenail of the body of Christ, if that was what was required. And to do it with total Joy.
I believe that becoming Franciscan is like being married. The wedding was good, but the journey was wonderful. C. S. Lewis always talked about putting on the cloak of Christ. Some mornings it slips on easily, some mornings it is a struggle. Then one morning they reach for the cloak and it is not there. They search until they realize they cannot find it because they never took it off.
Numerous people have asked me what the Tau Cross I now wear signifies. I explain it is a mark of being a member of the Secular Order of Franciscans, and that it marks those wearing it as belonging to God. On a deep level I have chosen to live out the Gospel Message as best I see it.
While I am explaining this, I listen to myself and the answer always leaves me unsatisfied. Don’t we all belong to God?? Don’t most of us try and live out the Gospel? Of course!! Is it really necessary to join a group to accomplish this?
For two months I have spent much of my writing time trying to compose a coherent explanation for why I made a decision to join the Franciscans. All I produced was lots of recycling. The problem was that I was describing an event, as if it were a single moment with a before and an after. Like a wedding. I was not married and then after December 21, 1968 I was. But there is a gigantic difference between a wedding and a marriage.
When I asked Kathryn to marry me, there were lots of reasons. I liked her ---- for some silly reason she seemed to like me, and she was really attractive. Most of all, I thought moving through life with this person would be “cool”. 42 years ago I would have used the word love instead of like, but 42 years later I realize the person I was, had no idea what real love was. Love grows and deepens with work and shared joys and shared suffering until the point is reached where there is no way to tell where you end and the other person begins.
It would be wonderful to be able to “go it alone”, to seek and find “the inner self”, the soul by myself. But I have discovered I am like the wheat seed that falls on good ground and flourishes, only to be overcome by weeds. By joining a group with the same goals, I have other people to keep me growing, weed free. Part of Franciscan teaching, is that conversion is daily, that each and every day is a new chance to grow closer to God. And that growth is always paradoxical.
Francis and Clare took vows of poverty, but it was not money they were giving up, but power. They choose to accept complete powerlessness, and in so doing became incredibly powerful. They choose what most people would see as a dour, confined life and became joyful and free. By seeing God in every part of creation, they were free to see God in themselves.
We all agree we are part of the body of Christ. But most people see themselves as the Aorta, or the brain stem, or something viewed as “important.” But if we are a complete body, someone has to be the toenail. On the surface, that seems like a disgusting picture, but anyone who has damaged or lost a toenail understands how taken for granted this body part is, until it is lost. What I most love about Francis and Clare was their total willingness to be the toenail of the body of Christ, if that was what was required. And to do it with total Joy.
I believe that becoming Franciscan is like being married. The wedding was good, but the journey was wonderful. C. S. Lewis always talked about putting on the cloak of Christ. Some mornings it slips on easily, some mornings it is a struggle. Then one morning they reach for the cloak and it is not there. They search until they realize they cannot find it because they never took it off.
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