On Containers and Content

On Containers and Content
What I want to do is give you a sort of map for the life journey, out and back. If you know the terrain ahead of time, including the crossover points, perhaps a successful journey is more likely. I would quickly add, none of this thinking is mine nor should it be mistaken for anything “New Age”. Much is from Father Richard Rohr who draws on ancient Christian Meditations and writings and is surprisingly backed by much Eastern Philosophy.
If Father Richard is correct, and I believe he is, your life’s work is in two parts; building the container and discovering the contents.
Once upon a time there was a very good young cartoonist. By himself, he would be a foot note in cartoon history. His brother was a business genius. By himself, he would be a footnote in economic history. Together, Walt and Roy built first Disneyland and then Disney World. By themselves they would have been judged “successful” by the world. Together they accomplished magic.
Contained in each of us from birth is exactly the same magic. At birth, two forces are united. The first is mortal and comes from the inside out, the second is immortal and comes from the outside in. The mortal one, the ego, is terrifically important in the first phase of life, but it is the second one, the spirit, or soul, that carries the blueprints of what our “true” lives should be.
The first phase of life, is about building the container that holds the spirit. This job falls mostly to the human ego. Since the ego is mortal and can see only from the inside out, it is inevitably self centered. It sees everything as a great drama in which you are the heroine or victim. It requires constant sacrifice; it will revel in perceived slights and insults, for this gives it importance. It will be unable to forgive, to dispense mercy, to give aid, unless it somehow sees this as increasing its status. For status is what it is all about; acquisition of material goods, climbing higher and higher, being the best, demanding constant adoration. For this small self to be right, everyone else has to be wrong.
The spirit has no need for adoration. Being immortal and seeing from the outside in, the spirit views everything the ego loves as fleeting and insignificant. It is quick to forgive; in fact it often has a hard time remembering what it is that needs to be forgiven. It is inevitably dualistic in its thinking. It understands that there are three truths: THE truth, your truth, and the other person’s truth, and knows that the first can never be understood without understanding the last. For the spirit, the only important task is the one given it at the beginning. And this task is unique and different for every soul. In all of creation, you are the only one given the task you carry. It knows its job is to become the great self.
Apart, both ego and spirit are doomed to a failed journey. Ego alone will quickly become cruel and ugly, spirit alone is far too fragile to survive in the world of men. Together they are capable of all the glory and beauty intended at creation. But it will take a journey.
In that first phase, and it may take many, many years, (the spirit is in no hurry), you will experience great joy and wonder, and no little amount of suffering. That is just the way it is. It will all seem terribly important. You will believe that your life’s work is to become “the best you can be!” It is, but not in the way you will think it is. If I could give you one piece of advice for this first phase, it would be to recognize your life is momentous. It is made up of moments. Each moment is the only real one there is. Suck every bit of joy from every moment as you live it. The sunsets over the ocean will be easy to appreciate, the trip to the dentist may not be. But each one must be savored and enjoyed, for they are the only reality. The past is unchangeable, the future unknown, regrets about the gone, or fear of the yet to be only rob the present of its joy.
Remember “It is what it is --- until it isn’t!” NO matter what you do, no matter how much you think you have messed up a situation, no journey fails in this first phase. Forgiveness, reconciliation, mercy and compassion are always possible. Only by refusing the offer to enter the second phase of life, is a journey failed.
The crossover from first to second phase seems to involve suffering of some sort. Now this may not be true for all, some may move gradually and peacefully from one to the other, but all my reading, all my discussions, all my experience is that it requires suffering. To move through the door from the world of man to the world of the divine, requires a choice, and the ego knows that once through the door, its ascendancy is over. Now you will read much about this requiring the ego to die, or be defeated. Nonsense!! What would have happened to the Disney empire if one or the other of the brothers had died or been defeated?
But the ego must be gentled, tamed. That is the struggle of the second half of life. You, the master of both the ego and the spirit, must harness the two and discover the real, authentic you; that spark inside of you, that only you can discover. And then you must let it shine through the container built in the first half of life. Like any well used container it has some nicks and cracks and marks on it. By itself, it is just a container. But with the spirit within shining out, it becomes a chalice. Each time you choose love over hate ( and in the world of men, it will be far easier to choose hate over love) you create a little translucent place in the chalice. Enough of these places and the light from within will flood out through the most beautiful stained glass imaginable.
So the “real” job of life, as father Richard puts it is:
“ to give back fully and freely what was first given to us—but now writ personally—by us! It is probably the most courageous and free act we will ever perform—and it takes both halves of our lives to do it fully. The first half is discovering the script, and the second half is actually writing it and owning it.”
I think of the crossover point between the first and second phase of life as a “mudroom of heaven” Mud rooms were entrance ways to farm homes. It was here the workers rid themselves of the accumulated dirt and yuck from the fields and barns of everyday life. Scrubbed clean, in fresh cloths, they could enter the home. By honestly and truly recognizing your faults and failures, your cruelties and lacks of compassion, you become sacredly clean enough to enter the true home of your soul. I think most failed journeys occur at this point because it is incredibly painful and humbling to step back and see our true selves. But it frees you for the glories of the future life. For once through the “mudroom” you can never see anything in the same way. The journey back to your authentic self will look so much different than the journey out. Nor does the struggle end here. In fact on many levels it just begins. But that is part of the magic.
And so that is enough to think about for a life time. I should end here, but I fear I might leave the impression that I have it all figured out, or that I understood anything before. In truth, five years ago, I would have mocked nearly everything written here. Until I was 60 years old, I was so busy being afraid of not being good enough, or not having enough I missed much of my life. I understand the failures of the ego so well because I suffered every flaw myself. My time in the mud room was filled with pain and hurt and hopelessness. It was the worst/best time ever. As to the second phase of life, since I have just begun it, much of the mystery still remains for me. I hope to let you know how it turns out shortly after you read this. And just like life, I begin with what I started with. God thinks you are really special.