At some point in your life, you begin to know the endings. Early on, you only know the beginnings. Lives are built with certainty and absolutes. We search for defining images and reflections. We encourage and support each other in our delusions. Everything is so clear, so black or white.
“I am a teacher, a Catholic, an Irishman. I love chocolate, dogs and pizza. I don’t like succotash, cats or people that make me uncomfortable.”“ I believe --- and so on for ever.” And we are so certain we are right.
Then one day you wind up with a cat and you learn they are just as loveable as dogs. Then you meet someone who makes you terribly uncomfortable, but also makes you think and grow and you come to value them immensely.
One day being Catholic seems less important than being Christian. You learn the real history of Ireland and you see that they are just as screwed up as the rest of humanity. You retire and you are no longer a teacher, yet it is important to be something, so you recreate yourself into what you always wanted to be. If you are especially blessed, it is what you were always supposed to be.
In the arrogance of youth, you are certain you will never do “That” (Whatever that is) only to find that under the right stress you will indeed do “that”.
Immaturity allows you to hate, to reject, to throw away people who do not meet your standards. And then you see that the only one hurt was yourself. That far from “protecting” yourself, you cheated yourself out of the joy of diversity, of shared companionship.
Finally you start to attend funerals. And now you know the endings. All the contention and hurtfulness and revenge and pettiness seem just sad. What real harm would have come from forgiveness, from appreciating someone’s unique qualities? What great joy and good might have come from those acts?
And so I start each morning with a prayer asking for the Holy Spirit to work within my heart this day to remove any hate, any hurt any anger and to work to make me accepting and forgiving. It is a long, long struggle, but I am making some progress. Tomorrow I may try succotash again.