S.O.S. Emergency!! This is Frankie Hairball, chief security officer of the S.S. Corcoran. My associate and I have been abandoned. We have not eaten in nearly 24 hours.
The residents loaded their belongings in a black box and left in their Toyota Time Bomb late yesterday. We have remained at our posts for as long as possible. About an hour ago, my companion officer, Bob, went into a semi coma. I have not been able to revive her. It looks like the end is near.
I was barely able to drag myself to this chair and send one last communication. It is growing dim and my paws no longer – wait, the door just opened, It’s the food lady! Please disregard the previous. Got to GO!!