Just For Fun

I got great pictures of myself yesterday. Usually my pictures look like a wanted poster in Terrorist Central, but this one was clear, pink and healthy looking. You couldn’t see my face, but the inside of my colon looked great.

The whole adventure started about a month ago, when one of the regular health tests showed a “slight” chance of a problem. Since this was the exact phrase used six years ago about my PSA results, it was not reassuring. Three years ago, I would have freaked out, worried myself sick about it and been a wreck. This time, I did what I have come to believe. I scheduled the “Big Exploration” and refused to worry about it until the Monday morning I would need to “prepare”. Oddly, (or is it that miracle world that surrounds us, but we fail to notice) the Saturday before “lift off” we listened to Sister Bridget do a three hour talk on “ Discerning God” , a talk that deserves a writing all its own. Anyway, one of the ways God talks to us is through dreams. Sunday night I must have had a dream. Since the Prostate operation I have lost the ability to remember any dreams I have, but, I woke up Monday morning with total peace that everything was fine.
So the entire event was kind of interesting. And fasting for the entire day revealed some things about myself. For one thing, I could never be a contestant on Survivor. Physical Challenge? I’m ready. A few bugs, dirt, same cloths for forty days? Just like home. Miss breakfast? No morning coffee? Not a chance!!! By the end of the first day I would be actively campaigning for legalized cannibalism. “ Jeff! Vote food off the Island? Are you nuts? Throw them in the pot!” That attitude might hurt my “social” game.
On Monday, I made it until 1 in the afternoon before I started to stare at the cat. Don’t ever think cats are dumb. Frankie took one look at me and disappeared. The “pre” directions said to start drinking the solution at 6 PM. I was ready to start at 5:30. Anything would have been welcome. Most people complain about the solution but, I have drunk worse stuff at Phi Delt Rush parties.
Tuesday morning we went to Lourdes for the big event. I must note that the nurses there were great. They all have a sense of humor and were pleasant beyond belief. After donning the latest fashion gown, they stuck a big needle in my hand and wheeled my cart to the procedure room where I was wired into a monitoring machine. Every five minutes my blood pressure, oxygen content and heart rate were checked. I tried to bio feedback the readings with pretty good results. I got the heart rate from 65 to 58 and the blood pressure from 176/ 107 to 160/ 97. OK , so maybe I wasn’t as relaxed as I thought.
Anyway, the doctor came over, said a few words to me, turned to the nurse and said, “ We will start initiating anesthesia now. You will feel a warm sensation and perhaps a little ------ “
and I was telling Kay I wanted poached eggs for dinner -- apparently for the sixth or seventh time. She agreed and told me the test was perfectly clear --- apparently for the sixth or seventh time. We came home, I had a great afternoon nap and poached eggs for dinner. Life is good!!