JUST SOME SILLY LITTLE NOTES
1. We bought an umbrella last week. Every choice listed “waterproof” as its top selling point. Really? What would the market be for non waterproof umbrellas?
2. Each morning, as soon as they are done eating, the cats demand access to the back porch where they each grab a post and sharpen their claws, readying themselves for another ferocious day of stalking. I just don’t have the heart to tell them they were declawed as kittens.
3. Are all you summer worshippers happy now?
4. Tuesday night we had an incredible storm. It was the heaviest rain I have seen in years. Early on a large branch fell from our tree into the road. I called the police as a safety precaution, then stood on the front porch to watch. The wind was bending the tree left and right and I really feared the rest would come down. Meanwhile cars were getting by both sides of the branch without much difficulty. Along come an old beater and out jumps a young guy. He was beyond soaked in ten seconds, but he still pulled the limb from the street to the sidewalk. Now, was this a very nice thing to do, sacrificing your dryness for the common good, or was this incredibly stupid because a really gigantic tree could have flattened him at any second?
5. While we are on the topic of the street. Each Sunday night into Monday morning we put our garbage out. This includes a big yellow recycling bin. Why am I always picking up discarded beer bottles from the front lawn? Someone has to either throw the bottle over the recycling bin to reach the lawn, or if they are walking, they need deliberately turn right to chuck the bottle, instead of dropping it in the bin. How come?
6. If we just spent 60 trillion dollars on a stimulus, how come there is no money to repair roads or do infrastructure “stuff”?
7. I have a “to read” bookshelf that sags badly. I made up my mind to start doing some serious reading and get that shelf level. Last week I read 4 books. Why did I add six more to the shelf?
8. Last week I went to the doctor for my checkup. My blood pressure was 122/70. My blood work showed I have the risk factors of a 17 year old, and when I did my yearly timed mile, I completed it in 13:46 which is only 16 seconds longer than twenty years ago. I still wear 34/30 slacks, which is exactly the same size I wore in high school. I must admit they don’t fit as well. It is not that the waist is too small, they are too long. Somehow I am shorter than I used to be.
9. The big result of the DR. visit was that I have not had a colonoscopy. But since I have no family history and no problems, we could do a Fecal blood sample test. This involved three consecutive days of -- well you can figure it out. But apparently I couldn’t because I got a call from the Dr. saying I had screwed up the test and I needed to repeat it.
And finally 10 Why is it that as soon as I say someone is going to be a big hit in the NFL this year they A) blow a tendon and are out for the season (Giant’s rookie running back) or B) Revert back to being a tackling dummy during games (David Carr)?